Last week, I attended a business retreat filled with inspiring women, big ideas… and nightly cocktail-style networking events.

As someone who’s alcohol-free, I found the evenings surprisingly uncomfortable. I caught myself thinking:

“I’m the only one not drinking.”
“I can’t stand at the bar with everyone else. I’ll look weird.”
“This would be easier if I just had a drink.”

These thoughts felt very real — but they weren’t true.

When I paused, stepped back, and looked around, I noticed:

• There were alcohol-free options at the bar.

• I wasn’t alone — 8 other women in our group of 50 weren’t drinking.

• No one was judging me. I was judging myself.

This is what I call a “real but not true” moment — a mindset shift I use often in coaching. Your feelings are valid, but the beliefs behind them might be distorted. Especially in social situations where alcohol is the norm.

How to Stay Alcohol-Free at Social Events Without Feeling Left Out

If you’re sober curious, trying to cut back, or navigating alcohol-free living as a professional woman, here are a few gentle tips that helped me:

1. Acknowledge the discomfort — don’t shame it.
You're not broken for feeling awkward. It’s a normal response in a society where drinking is the default.

2. Get curious about your beliefs.
Ask: “Is this thought real — or just familiar?” Often, we’re telling ourselves outdated stories.

3. Look for quiet evidence.
You’re rarely the only one not drinking. Seek out others who are also making empowered choices.

Want More Support?

In this week’s solo podcast episode, I dive deeper into how to handle social events when you're not drinking. It’s short, practical, and made with love for women who want to feel confident in alcohol-heavy spaces.

🎧 Listen on Apple, Spotify or my website.

And if you're ready to get personalised support, my 1:1 coaching container — Change Your Drinking is open now. You’ll get compassionate, no-pressure support tailored to your unique goals.

Book a free, confidential chat . Phone or Zoom — casual, warm, no shame ever.  BOOK HERE